CAPTIVE

i can't figure the purpose of me here

at night they get louder and louder

and sometimes i wonder whether it's just me making it all up

what if they are no voices, but only empty spaces?

so vacant that i have to fill it with self-inflicted misery?

what if it's just me seeking attention from the lack of concern towards me?

sometimes it's pandemonium all around,

like everyone screaming and running in great chaos all the time,

then sometimes it's so silent

so silent that i fear another destructive wave might hit next

but how do I explain this to anyone without getting ridiculed?

'get over it', something they always say

if one day,

the voices, the pain, and the loneliness mercilessly catch up to me

as i surrender to the black abyss for once

—pull the trigger,

find myself in peace as the whole world blacks out

buried six feet underground

please, 'get over it'

Written for N