LOVE.

once upon a time,

i was never a strong believer of selfless love

once upon a time,

i was all that mattered to me

once upon a time,

you never came into my life

but you have — and you have made beamed in the brightest way possible

but you have — and you were only meant to wreck me whole

but you have — and i do not regret ever loving you, not once, never at all

i always yearned to be of worth to you — i fought endlessly for you

i fought the tsunami in my eyes when you caused a downpour in my world countless

i fought the waves of daggers aimed at my heart each time you proved that i will never be her.

i gave you pieces of me whilst i saved none for myself, but you never once truly acknowledged the love i harbored for you — you never did. all you ever saw was someone else. 

not me, not me, not me.

i loved you for a long time but you were only in love with the idea of me, and that has made all the difference between me and you. you drew a distinct line in our relationship. the fact is, you never once did loved me. you loved what i provided you with, you loved my convenience, you loved how i was simply there for you no matter the hell you put me through. but you have never, ever loved me for me.

the day i despised and feared eventually came — you told me you loved me no more. 

how could you? how dare you? were all my sacrifices worth nothing in your eyes?

i loved you, and for a long time i was sure nobody could ever love you the way i do. 

you lifted my sorrows, but had i known you were storing them to give me an abundance of it in the future — i should have never let you in.

and yet i thank you, for showing me how disastrous and wonderful love can be.

being with you was the most painful thing i've ever allowed myself to, and yet you made me the happiest spirit alive. i have lost myself while loving you, but i will never once regret doing so much for you,

just to see you alive.

Written for Anonymous, C.S